I actually skipped the essay, since it was supposed to be about myself, after that last self-examination questionnaire I did a few entries back. I think I'm going to go back and do it, but before I go there, I'll jot down here a bit of the nightmare that has been the last hour, during which I did as the book asked: I relived all of the pivotal moments from each of those four people named previously, and then wrote down a list of traits I saw/see in them, both positive and negative. Then I had to rank the positive traits and the negative traits for each one from best to worst, and worst to not-so-bad. They are, in numerical order, as follows (G-d, this really just brought up a lot of shit I wasn't interested in dredging up today or ever, I gotta say. This had better fucking be going somewhere.):

Iran: Highly intelligent, Passionate, Funny, Creative, Inquisitive, Intense, Serious, Stubborn (in her I found that endearing), Affectionate. She was also Naive, Needy, Angry, Intense, Stubborn (sometimes it wasn't endearing), Serious, and Frightened.

Zulu: Creative, Funny, Affectionate, Intelligent. He was also Mean, Malicious, Manipulative, Dishonest, Abusive, Addicted, Angry, Haunted, Intense, Depressed, Stubborn, Sad, Frightened, Hurt, Confused.

Adam: Caring, Highly Intelligent, Witty, Funny, Kind, Affectionate, Honest, articulate, Generous. He was also Stuck (in a sort of, stuck-back-in-high-school-emotionally way), Addicted, Frightened, Cold, Confused, Naive, and Cheap.

Jenny: Highly Intelligent, Insightful, Intense, Warm, Friendly, Open, Honest, Funny, Inquisitive, Loving, Passionate, Articulate, Witty, Affectionate. She was also Addicted, Haunted, Manipulative, Frightened, Sad, and Needy.

After reliving all of those pivotal moments, I was instructed to turn the paper over, and choose a specific series of positive and negative traits. The positive traits I was to write in the top half of a split circle. The negative I was to put in the bottom. The person to whom I am unconsciously drawn, then, bears the following traits:

Highly Intelligent, Funny, passionate, Creative, Caring, Insightful, Addicted, Naive, Needy, Mean, Malicious, Stuck, and Haunted.

Lovely. I'm going to marry one of the Menendez brothers.

Posted by twids at 11:02 am