Ugh. Eliot Smith is dead. I can't stand it. And his girlfriend found him after he killed himself. Can you imagine, diary? Coming home and finding the person you love dead, and then finding out he did it to himself? Jesus. Kill me now.

This morning the moon was the clearest of slivers with a little planet hanging out right next to it. It was quite a sight, but nothing compared to how it looked as the sun rose over the harbor and the moon was still lit up. What an incredible way to start the day. s'why I love coaching at Miraleste...start the day on the top of the hill, overlooking it all, and on a clear day, you can truly see forever and nothing seems impossible. Everything is fresh and clean and untainted...even in the harbor, where up close everything is grimy and coke-covered and dingy. It's by far a better way to do things...start before dawn and watch the world being reborn each day. I've never been a morning person, but I remember being as thrilled to see the sun come up when I worked at the coffee place downtown sophomore year. The sun would come up and all the colors would be reflected in the windows of the Arco center, and they'd bounce off all the other buildings and make it all look like I was working in the middle of a fireball. Good stuff. And it always felt like I was the only one watching...as though it was a show just for me.

Now if I could just get back to the gym, I think I could start to lift this mood a bit more and get myself out of this funk I've been in. If I could get to the gym, I could maybe not feel so overwhelmed each day. I'm sure of it. I just have to get there once.

This is why I wanted a trainer. I wanted someone to call me during these times and get me back in there, motivated, at those times when I just can't get myself back there after a relapse or after getting sick. Brenda is okay at that, but not fabulous. Then again, I haven't made it clear to her that that's what I need when she hasn't seen me for two weeks: A call with a kick in the ass attached.

I'm at DDs and have spent the past hour with The Nephew Who Walks on Water...bathing and getting dressed and hugging and giggling. There really is nothing better than a morning like this. Nothing anyone could offer me could make me trade this stuff. Family time, gorgeous sunrise, peace inside.

Yeah. Peace inside. I can always use me summa that.

Posted by twids at 8:23 am