So today it dawned on me that not only am I going to turn 30 while living in my parents' house, but it's, like, coming up. Quick. I'm turning 30 in about 3 weeks. Yikes.

It dawned on me during a conversation with the trainer today at the gym. And for a few moments there I was totally panicked. But then, I had to lower my shoulders back down to clavicle level and think, "You know? I've just embarked very recently on what appears to be Twids' Life Number Two, and that's sorta cool. To live a full life before your 30th birthday. I know a lot of 50 year olds who still haven't done that. So hey, fuck it, I'm okay." And for the most part, that's true. In fact, I could argue that I'm actually on my third life and about to be 30, but I'll stay with two lives. And for most of the rest of the day, I actually believed what I thought.

And I guess I still do, now that I'm home with the rents and using mom's computer to write this entry...again, because my computer connection is STILL fucked up. And I'm still okay with this. I'm on my way to moving out (did I mention that in here before? I'm going to be moving out in the next few months back to Redondo at a reduced rate and managing the building...yay!), and really, fucking come on. This Thanksgiving, this next week, will be a year from the time I first knew there was something wrong with my body, and the Monday following will be the anniversary of my going to doctors to tell them something's wrong and having them tell me I'm just crazy. It'll be, technically, I think, sorta, a year of my having MS. And that's pretty cool. I'll be turning 30 and able to say that my whole world just recently got turned upside down, and I've changed everything around and kept my head and my health and my values and priorities in order. And I still have work to do, fo sho'. But at least I know what work it is, and how to prioritize it. (I may not always follow through on the priorities, but then, that's onea my problems....)

So, yeah. I'm about to turn 30 and I'm on my second life. And that second life allows me to see every single one of my immediate family members every day, and to see my nephew a minimum of three times a week, and to spend time with them (not just wave hello as I walk out the door), and it allows me to take naps regularly. And it includes time to work out and to have lunch dates with pals and colleagues. And it allows me to dress in sweats for work. (Well, to coach, anyway. I don't wear sweats to school, even though I really really really want to.) So I'd say that the small detail of living in my parents' house for this particular birthday? Isn't going to really keep me down for too long.

Posted by twids at 9:39 pm