Ugh. The more time I spend with BridgeBoy, the hotter and more interesting he gets. I really, really, really, rillyrilly like him. StudentBoy be damned, BridgeBoy rocks.

I had a dream last night (this morning?) that he finally kissed me, and instead of actually kissing me on the cheek, he sucked on my face. Like a fish, or something. It was totally bizarre, but I was so hard up I didn't care. "Fuck it, I'll just teach him to kiss later," I thought. I still thought he was adorable for trying something he thought would turn me on. Evidently. Now that I write about it here, it doesn't sound nearly as cool, but the feeling I woke up with was, "Yes! He finally kissed me and it RULED!" Later in the dream we were in a restaurant and he pulled me aside (into a closet actually, I think), and we were sort of cuddling, I guess, and he showed me some bizarre abnormality on his chest that sort of looked like a little vibrating microchip over his fourth rib, and I remember thinking it was bizarre, but that I really couldn't care less. That it made him unique, or something, and really I just wanted to keep hugging him. What's all that about?

While the breakfast was great and we were there for an hour and a half talking non-stop, I was sort of bummed getting into my car that he hadn't leaned down and sucked on my face.

Well, or, that he hadn't kissed me.

Well, really I was bummed that he didn't kiss me, and more that we're at this weird impasse where we both know the situation's weird and we're trying hard to figure out where to go from here. Fucking grown-up life is hard sometimes. Maybe I need to consult the self-Hell book to figure out how to proceed. Now we're even on the buying of breakfasts for each other. What next? And is the ball really in my court for this one? If it is, I'm so screwed.

Because really? If I had it my way? The next time he stayed after workout and we were alone I'd just walk up to him, wrap my hand around his neck and plant one on him so as to allay any possible doubts as to where I'd like this all to lead.

But seeing as that's insane and he could file a lawsuit (and, likely, win it) if I did that, I don't think I'll be advising myself to pull anything like that in the near future.

Which is why he needs to make the next move or I think I may burst into flame.

Now I'm gonna go back to bed and see if I can get back to that restaurant....

Posted by twids at 8:13 am