So this morning, as I was sleeping through my alarm, I had the most vivid dream I've had in a long long while. I was getting married, and I was really excited. I had this dress that I got myself into and my hair was long again, and I went out, in the dress, because I was supposed to meet Jessica (of all people), who was going to do my make-up (and I'm not sure why, because I was already wearing a bunch, but it had something to do with my not knowing how to put on blush), and a few other friends. We went to some outdoor auditorium where some band or other was playing, and it started raining. I ran under an awning outside some store or other, but not before getting all wet, and getting my dress significantly dirty (but not dirty enough to not get married).

Then the dream did some sort of flashback thingy, and I wasn't in my dress anymore, but I was just about to get into it to try it on. It was the day before the wedding, and everyone around me was driving me crazy. Then through everyone I saw my fiance, who was this tall blond buy I swear was Brad Ellis. How weird is that? Haven't seen that kid since freshman year of high school, but there he was, all smiles and comfort. I ran over to him and he just wrapped his arms around me, knowing that I couldn't deal with all the chaos and sort of shielding me from it all. It was such a great feeling. And he kissed me and smiled down at me (he was really tall), and I don't remember him saying anything but I remember knowing that he knew exactly what to do or say. I was just so happy to be with him.

Then I was back in the rain, and it was the day of the wedding, and there I was in my dirty dress, and I had to walk a while to some woman's house. I don't remember who she was but she's an older friend of mine, and she was missing. I couldn't find her anywhere, and I didn't have any shoes on. The wedding was coming up, and I knew I was really cutting it close, but I just had to do one more thing (find her? Find something else? Get something? There seemed like a series of things that were each keeping me for a while longer). Towards the end I was feeling really frantic, like I really needed to get to the wedding, but my hair was all fucked up now and my make-up was all gone, and my shoes were nowhere to be found and my dress was dirty. Something inside me was saying, "fuck it! Just get there! Who fucking cares what your hair looks like!" and then another part of me was saying, "No! You can't get married like this! You have to fix your hair!"

Somewhere in the dream I was back in my apartment (never seen this particular apartment before, but it's where I lived in the dream). Jay came to visit me before the big event, and he was all happy for me. I was so excited to see him, but felt sort of strange talking to him...as though it was some sort of last hurrah with me and him, as though it was a moment for both of us to see each other for the last time as a possibility. We drank cheap beer together, and I panicked right as he was leaving because I realized that instead of taking DayQuil, as I thought I had, I had taken NyQuil, and I was going to be ready to fall asleep just as my wedding was going to be happening.

I woke up just as I was arriving at the actual ceremony, which was outside at some sort of yacht club looking place and there was a big arch on a lawn, and "Brad" was waiting at the end of the aisle. I was so happy to be there and to see him.

I had slept right through my alarm, and I was completely disoriented. The entire way to the pool I kept thinking about it and wondering what ever happened to Brad.

Weird.

Posted by twids at 4:40 pm