So, I'm pretty sure there's something I do that unconsciously tells others to keep their physical distance. In fact, I know I do. I just have no idea how not to do it. I've been doing it for so long, playing tough, that all efforts to de-harden-ize are being bamboozled by this one last barrier. How to break it down? I'm talkative, I smile, I give good eye contact, I call/email back, I meet up when I say I'll meet up...but then at the end, when it's time to leave, I get up and get the fuck out. I'm not sure if I do this because I'm afraid if I linger I'll be shut down, or if I do this because I don't know how to linger and get me more than a polite hug good-bye.

Maybe it's just that the people I'm dating aren't that into me.

But I don't think so. I think this last guy was into it, but just had no idea how to close the deal, so to speak...and I didn't help him at all.

In other news: I'd like to rehab this pool in Pedro, and I'd like to raise funds for the rehab by:
a. Getting a group of kids together to clear out the weeds growing through the bottom
b. Having multiple performance art/dance parties IN the pool, at $15 a pop or something...complete with lights and the whole shebang.
c. Getting a few municipal grants and corporate sponsors to help out.

I truly, truly think this can be done. I just have to work at it like a mofo.

And I have to get BridgeBoy to take a look at it and tell me whether I'm nuts to even think about rehabbing this pool. I'm going to go email him riiiight now.

Posted by twids at 11:37 am