Off to Vegas tonight at some ungodly hour...after working a full day. Talked to Sonya last night about what else to bring...what does a formerly-dark/brooding/poetry-writing/Bukowski-workshiping alkie bring to a bachelorette party full of sorority girls? Especially now that I'm no longer the person I used to be?

Last time we did this was for Sonya's soiree, and I was the life of the party...bursting through the door after driving in post-workout, penis toys erupting from every zipper in my luggage, cash flowing from each hand for the doorman behind me with a doorman-push-thingie full of a bar's worth of alcohol, red bull, and zip fizz. We stayed out until I'd proved that I could drink them all under the table, danced until the club closed, and then woke up the next day and drove home.

This time around? I can't even decide what alcohol to bring. I told Serge that my first instinct was to just grab a bottle of Jack and a straw, but what would the sorority girls think of the bride for having such unseemly friends? He laughed and said I should wear a hat, pull it down over my eyes, grab one of them drink umbrella thingies, put it through the speed pourer, and call tell 'em all to fuck off.

Thing is, though, I don't do all that much drinking anymore. In fact, none at all. One of my old drinks would probably put me into convulsions at this point.

That's really not a big deal though. The bigger deal is the sorority girls. I can't stand them. They drive me completely batty, and I either laugh too hard at them (as in, "Oh, I'm sorry, you were SERIOUS about having a crisis over what shade of pink to paint your nails?"), or I snap at them too quickly (as in, "Seriously, bitch, get your hands off my hair. I don't do side ponytails...even drunk.")

If I can make it through tonight (Olympic Gardens as soon as I step off the plane), I should be alright for the rest of the weekend.

Posted by twids at 10:43 am