Not that I expected him to. I mean, I was *hoping* he'd drop and email or skywrite or something, but my rational side told me I would hear nothing for a long while. I figure he's gotta ruminate.

But man! Don't I wish I could get just the teensiest sign of a reaction either way...either, "Yeah, um, so I went to court today to find out how to keep you away from me, like, legally," or, "So, I know I came off as sorta shocked as I drove off yesterday, but I've gotta tell ya, that was some brave shit you pulled, telling me all that." Or whatever.

Wishfull thinking, I know. These are the things I play in my head over and over, willing them to come true. Just so that I'll know one way or the other what's going on in that heart of his. I told DD about it this morning, and was surprised that I let her in on the whole thing. That was a big step, too, in this process. And I think I'm going to make this my whole theme for this year/season...just pushing through the hard stuff, no matter how difficult it is at the time or how hard I fall. Just do it and do it 100%. No fear. No looking back. Damn the torpedoes. Full speed ahead.

And all that.

Did a lot of long-range planning today, which I always love doing. But that little image in the back of my head keeps fighting for a front-burner view. That little voice that keeps nagging, "What's going through his mind? Is he gonna pretend it all never happened and just try to make it not-awkward on deck and never hang out with me outside the pool again? Or is he working up the courage to say something equally revealing back? Or does he not know what I meant by, 'I really like you.'?"

I'll go running in a few hours and try to bang it outta my head that way. Should do the trick for at least an hour or so.

Well, maybe a half hour.

Posted by twids at 3:14 pm