My grandmother died. I would try to write something that would do her death justice, but since it's been well over 66 days since I had anything remotely decent to put down here, I'm going to pass and say: She died. It was hell there for a few days as I prayed that she would be put out of her mysery, and I still experience waves of sadness about her when no one is around. My father cracked jokes the whole time for lack of knowing what the fuck else to say. A twids trait, that.

While Grandma was dying, my 15 year old cousin picked up his father's collector-item WWII Luger (read: Nazi gun...what. the. FUCK. was any relative of mine doing with a Nazi gun, is what I wanna know?), loaded it with some sort of bullet thing, and then shot half of his head off.

He's in the hospital in critical condition still. The don't think he'll ever regain any abilities on the right side of his body. I think we'll be lucky to have him wake up at all. Lucky or not, actually, I'm not sure. His stupid-ass immediate family refuses to acknowledge the notion that this might have been a suicide attempt, despite the history of clinical Depression running rampant throughout the branches of that particular familial tree.

Meanwhile, I am disappointing friends, losing cell phones, and hanging onto my job by a thread on a daily basis.

Oh yeah, and I resigned from the teaching position.

All in a summer's work.

There are three cats and a dog in my apartment. They are all adorable, but they all have cabin fever of the worst kind, and they're a bit stir crazy. There is hair and fleas everwhere.

I've gone out to breakfast three more times with BridgeBoy, am scheduled to work out with him tonight in the Main Pool after workout for the kids, and he has just today said that he would love to join me on a visit the nearby gallery he recommended at last week's breakfast when I finally, finally, finally go on vacation.

I consider that enormous progress, damnit. And that's fucking sad.

In other news, I am angry all the time at various and sundry people and concepts and vapidity over which I have no control. People really fucking piss me off. It's incredible. I try and I try to like them and to keep only good ones around me. But they keep pissing me off, and I keep pissing them off.

I should really sit down sometime soon and figure out what the hell's going on.

Oh! But, on the other side of my universe? I went surfing yesterday!

My knees are banged up all to hell and my body is sore from head to little baby toe, but hot damn! I stood up twice! We were out there for hours, and I have me a great teacher, and we had a blast!

I can't wait to go again. I mean really, I can't wait. I'm going to try to go back on Sunday if I can steal someone's board in the meantime.

Now I have to go back to work.

Posted by twids at 1:39 pm