The weekend started out swimmingly. (That's sort of a pun if you know me.) I was down to two students who still needed a ride in the rented van to Sacramento: StudentBoy and my Star Asian Student Girl. What could be better? StudentBoy was bringing his guitar and couldn't wait to sing his new song about Our Fair Governor. Star Asian Student Girl is from my hometown and is Korean, so we had much to talk about, and I was on my way back up to my old stomping grounds, to see old friends and run around the capitol for a few days. SASG arrived at my apartment without a hitch, we boarded the van, picked up StudentBoy, and we were off and running.

It pretty much went downhill from there.

Once in Sacramento, the room the hotel gave me was wrong. And, it turned out that the room I had asked for was twice as expensive as they'd quoted me before. I had budgeted for $200/night. Now I had to pay $400/night. They maxed out my bank card with authorizations but not charges, and I had to stay in a smaller room that night, then switch to the Presidential Suite the next night after visiting the bank, begging for my own money, and paying the hotel in cash.

Once back with the cash the next day, despite the fact that I'd called ahead and asked for a late check-out, housekeeping had come and removed all my belongings from my room. They gave them back to me in a trash bag when I forked over my $800 cash for the big room.

I was seeing old friends, hanging out with my students, introducing everyone and hoping they were all making good contacts. I used my other credit card to purchase the wine and snacks needed for the Presidential Suite reception, I went to my mandatory meeting where Eileen caught me and asked if she could stay in my room because my replacement had disappeared and had promised to house her for the night. The suite is huge, and of course she can stay, as long as she doesn't mind rooming with me and the other professor who asked to join me a few weeks ago. No problem.

We get back in the room, and Other Professor has joined us...and has taken the bed and put my stuff on the couch. I remove my stuff from the couch, call for a cot, and sleep on the cot.

The reception went well. StudentBoy got drunk and I asked him to sing for the masses...which he did. Occasionally he would glance over at me and smile, and I would blush, horrified, and try to hide my clear and present crush from the rest of the 50 or so guests. They all went back to their rooms, and I then had to run back to StudentBoy's room to get my keys (he'd used the van to go get some others from the airport as a favor to me). He and SASG had gotten a room together, since their friends had all bailed on them, and there they were, in separate beds, getting ready to watch SNL. Will you stay to watch with us, he asks? No, I'll not stay. I leave hurriedly.

Next day was nutty, but started out with pancakes at the Circus with Danny and Wil. (Yay! Pancake Circus! Danny! Wil!) There were 900+ attendees at the conference, and I registered and greeted many of them, passed out scholarship applications, greeted and hugged old friends.

Halfway through the conference, I was given an award by the association for "Excellence." I've never been so mortified, except when I was forced up on stage to receive it and to hear them read the text on the actual plaque, as I tried unsuccessfully not to cry. And there were all my students, standing at their tables cheering for me. And there I was, crying, overwhelmed with guilt and nostalgia and shame for being forced to accept an award for doing my job for two years and then leaving. Every time someone approached me and told me congratulations after that, I was forced to smile graciously and say thank you. How to tell them that I didn't deserve such a thing and they were crazy to draw attention to someone who worked hard because she didn't want them to find out she couldn't do anything right?

On the way to the circus on Monday, SASG informs me that StudentBoy walked in drunk the night prior and made a wild pass at her, which she was too slow in her drowsiness to rebuff at first, but then later did. I am their teacher. I do not need to know these things. I figure it was cosmic/karmic retribution for my crushing on StudentBoy, and that I needed to hear it. Ugh. He got on her in a drunken stupor. Kill me.

On the way to the capitol on Monday, it became clear to me that my wallet was missing. I was sure I'd find it, but alas, no go. I was forced to tell the Other Professor and my Boss, the Dean, who had arrived the night prior to spend time with us and see the conference (again, I got the cot). The Dean graciously agreed to pay for the room (I did not ask for this, nor was I expecting it), and at that point I was relieved as all hell, because I had no wallet, no charge card, and no cash to get me home.

The hotel would not give me my cash back because I did not have ID. I begged him in front of my boss. I have never been so humiliated.

My boss and the Other Professor wound up giving me $40 each to get me home. Again. Humiliated.

Tail between my legs I returned to the capitol where I ran around with students and friends and had a blast. StudentBoy approaches me at some point to tell me that he thinks he'll go home with two other students that day, since he'll be finished before I and SASG, and he has a paper he needs to finish. SASG tells me later that he has not spoken to her all day and she is pissed as all hell. Glad that he won't be coming with us. I am sad but determined to pretend this does not phase me.

On the tail end of the drive home, it becomes clear to me that while I do not have my wallet, I also do not have my keys. I am forced to break into my apartment in front of SASG, who already has been forced to spend 7.5 hours in a van by herself with her teacher. Poor thing. I don't think she'll ever get enough therapy to deal with that sort of trauma.

So now I am getting a ticket as we speak, because I cannot move my car for the street cleaner, because I do not have my keys. The hotel will not call me back to tell me if they have found my keys or my wallet, despite my many messages and pleas.

Yesterday I discovered, as I applied at the bank for another card, that my wallet had actually been stollen, and that I had no money left in my banking account because whoever stole it charged up a bunch of stuff at various gas stations surrounding central Sacramento on the day that I was receiving my award. Go figure.

And today, I was so fucking exhausted that I slept through my alarm, was too late for everyone to wait at the pool so missed coaching their workout, and then forgot that I was supposed to do my sister a favor and pick up my nephew and bring him to work. I got her angry call three hours later when the phone finally woke me up from my slumber.

And now I am afraid to leave the house for fear that I'll fuck something else up.

Yesterday this was all still funny. Today, after having let down family and realizing just how tired I am and how let down I'm making everyone, it's not funny anymore. Nope. Not remotely.

I'm going back to bed.

Posted by twids at 11:11 am