Okay, so, here's where I get to put it all together in a Mad Libs-esque sorta way....

I tend to be drawn to a person who is naive, needy, mean, malicious, stuck, addicted, and haunted; with whom I feel sad, angry, trapped, and embarrassed; because s/he frustrates me by belittling my friends and feelings, and by constantly avoiding meaningful, connective conversations by buffering with beer (or other ilicit substances, but I just couldn't resist that aliteration).

If this person were always highly intelligent, passionate, creative, funny, caring, and insightful, I could have someone who values my friends, returns my affection/advances, and doesn't use/drink. Then I would not always be thinking that I'm unlovable, not worthy of respect or trust, or that I'm going to be abandoned, and I would not be constantly reacting by isolating myself from friends and the world, and I would not lash out verbally at my partner. I would also not experience some of my deepest fears, which are being left or betrayed by someone I love, or getting close to someone who doesn't want to be close to me.

And that, diary, is a picture of my "unconscious relationship".

Go me.

Posted by twids at 8:21 am